A "No Excuses" Guide to Achieving your Goals

Goals are fun to make. They open a world of possibilities as to what your life could be because we tend to dream big. And that’s great.

But what happens when those dreams, our goals, are smothered by time, financial or other constraints?

Or when those goals seem just too big to ever accomplish?

How do we keep moving in spite of seemingly insurmountable odds?

Approach it like any other project…chunk it.

As a middle school English teacher, I help students break papers and projects into steps, chunks, so that the final product is less daunting and more achievable. Often times, students see final projects as too difficult. Their “affective filter” is high and their belief in their inability to succeed results in exactly that. As their teacher and coach, I help them chunk the assignment out and make each task an attainable step in the process.

Stephen Krashen, in his theory of second language acquisition, hypothesizes that students have a number of “affective variables” that contribute to their ability to learn a second language. Variables, such as anxiety, motivation and self confidence can help or hinder one’s probability of success.

The same can be said for other goals. When we get overwhelmed by the task of whatever goal we set for ourselves, it becomes easier to dismiss it as impossible, rather than push through. Our affective filter becomes a wall that blocks our road to success. 

The benefit we have, as adults, is that we can recognize when our filter are in place and, with work, visualize the hand holds in the wall that allow us to scale it and put ourselves back on track.

The first step is recognizing those variables. Do you see the goal as too big? Chunk it. Break the goal into smaller, manageable, measurable steps. As you achieve each step, reward yourself. Your confidence builds and you continue on your way.

Do you doubt your ability to achieve your goal? Why? What is it about the goal that makes it unreachable? If it’s unreachable, why is it a goal? If it’s truly unreachable, then aren’t you setting yourself up for failure? I may never run a marathon, but maybe I can run a half. And if a half isn’t realistic right now, a 10k certainly is. Everyone starts somewhere. Find the beginning point of your own goal and build from there.

Are financial constraints standing in your way? A round-the-world trip may not be realistic for you at this point in your life but, you can start small. Getting away for a week, even a long weekend, can do wonders for the psyche. Start somewhere. Anywhere.

For nearly every goal you want to achieve, there are others who have paved the way. Do your research. There are mentors everywhere, online and in real life. And most of them are happy to share their stories and offer their own tips for success. Sift through the advice. See what works for you and discard the rest.

Want to travel? Check out travel blogs that offer tips on everything from debt reduction to packing lists. Create a vision board on Pinterest and start the ball rolling.

Want to lose weight? Check out weight loss and fitness blogs for inspiration and healthy or clean eating blogs for go-to recipes to add to your repertoire. The information is there for you…go get it.

A no-excuses approach is a tough line to draw, but in many cases, it is what it is. No excuses.

You have one life and it’s always too short.

Find those handholds in your wall and haul your ass over it. Your life depends on it.

Pack Your Bags...5 Tips for the First Time International Traveler

Summer time is a popular time for international travel. If you have your passport and you're ready to go, consider these five tips to put your mind at ease before you even get in line for security.

1. Scan your passport and email a copy of it to yourself. Make sure your photo and passport number is visible. If for some reason, you lose your passport, it will make it easier for you to get it re-issued if you have evidence of the documentation

2. Call your bank and credit card company. Let them know your travel dates and that should reduce any chance of your charges being denied overseas.

 

3. Speaking of banking, make sure you have a 4-digit pin for the ATM; otherwise you may not be able to use the foreign machines.

www.carlsontoons.com 

 

4. Call your bank and find out their partner bank overseas. If you use these for your ATM withdrawals, you will not have to pay the ATM fees.

5. Find out what your credit card charges in foreign transaction fees. One of the main benefits of the Capital One Ventures card that we have, in addition to miles accumulation, was no foreign transaction fees. If you're paying exorbitant transaction fees, make sure you have cash and save the credit card for only the emergencies. Save where you can.




They're simple tips, but they can make a real difference. Knowledge is power and having things taken care of before your trip can save a hasty decision in the heat of crisis.

Buen viaje!
Un besote...

Bored, Not Hungry...30 Things to Do Instead of Snacking

My husband is a boredom eater. I am a snacker. This is not exactly a win-win situation. In trying to remedy the problem, I decided to generate a list of what to do instead of eating. Here's what I have so far . . .

1. go to bed
2. take a nap
3. read a book
4. catch up on magazines
5. go to the gym
6. drink some water
7. drink some iced tea
8. go to the mall
9. go to store of choice
10. go to the book store and browse the travel section--feed the wanderlust instead.
11. go to book store and catch up on magazines
12. go for a walk
13. revise the bucket list
14. research what to do instead of eating
15. take a bath
16. take a shower
17. do laundry
18. do husband . . . just checking if you're reading. ;)
19. delete old pictures from albums
20. clean out dropbox
21. clean out closet
22. organize junk drawer
23. clean out wallet
24. clean out purse
25. plan next vacation or weekend away
26. make love
27. make art
28. send naughty text to husband
29. catch up on blog
30. weigh myself

Any of these can work as a distraction. Any of these can be downright splendid. And the bonus is . . .I won't eat...right?

What's your secret? How do you prevent snacking? Mindless eating?

Bread...the fourth utensil

There is a very real learning curve that happens when you marry someone from another culture.

There may be idiomatic expressions that are embedded within jokes that you may just never get.

There could be a collision of flavor palates, and the habits of day-to-day living may be influenced by how it's always been done...just not necessarily your way.

One funny discovery I made while dating and then marrying my Latin husband was the gross underestimation I had about the role of bread with the daily meal. Growing up, my family occasionally had bread with dinner, and as a somewhat calorie and carb-conscious eater myself, my relationship with bread was almost always a guarded one.  

But my husband loves bread. And who can blame him? He grew up on locally made artisan-style breads, the likes of which get featured in magazines and in windows of corner bakeries...the kind that makes passersby stop and breathe in the aroma of freshly baking bread.

Flour, salt and water, my husband says...it doesn't get more basic than that. And he's right. I suspect that, barring medical necessity, the whole gluten free, low-carb lifestyle has little chance of survival in any Latin household, or at least in our Latin household.

In fact, at our home in Galicia, there is actually a bakery that delivers to the various neighborhoods every day. The driver toots the horn and the neighbors come out with their euros to buy their fresh bread every morning. He will even bring you a cheese and a paper, if you let him know the day before.

La comida perfecta: tortilla española, queso de tetilla, y pan gallego. Delicioso!

Any Latin will probably tell you that a meal is, simply, not a meal without bread.  My husband comes from Spaniards, where bread is used as the fourth utensil. But it's not just the Spaniards. I saw the same phenomenon in Rome with the Italians and in Paris with the French, and in Porto with the Portuguese. Even my Latino middle school-age students unanimously agree that bread is a non-negotiable staple of every meal.

Bread not only complements the meal, but it also sops up the juice and cleans the plate. I have even witnessed my husband dab his chin with the corner of a slice when caldo threatens to drip on his shirt.

"We need something in our hand," my husband says, "Otherwise, it's like something is missing." My suggestion of a knife only got me a raised eyebrow indicating that nothing could be more ridiculous.

A head scratcher like this is part of what makes cross-cultural relationships fun. My unnatural love for baked beans may be a head scratcher for him as well. 

Nevertheless, I still don't eat bread with every meal (except in Spain). But I can't help but smile as I watch my husband and my mother-in-law, bread in hand, wipe with gusto, every last remnant of food or juice from their plate.

It certainly makes clean-up a lot easier.

Un besote...

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my 42nd birthday. How I ended up in my 40s, I will never know, but nevertheless, I am here and I am rockin' it. My 40s are fabulous and, alliteration aside, I am blessed beyond belief.

I thought about ways to mark this occasion on Besote, and as a new blogger, I thought about taking the self promotion route, with a little getting-to-know-you trivia.

But I kind of already did that on my About Me page.

Then I thought, as a list-lover, today would be a great opportunity to set some goals for year 42.

And so I did. In my head.

See, 42 is a big number for any one list, but I can give you the quick and dirty.

In my twenties, my mom decided that 20 something candles in any cake was a fire hazard, so she decided that she would put in one candle in my birthday cake for each decade, plus the number of the particular birthday. For example, when I turned 27, I had 9 candles...2 for the decades and 7 for the years.

So, now I'm 42. And when my mom makes my special request, Duncan Hines strawberry cake with vanilla frosting this weekend, she will not give me 42 candles, but 6...1 for each decade and then 1 for each of the two years of my 40s.

Weird, I know. But back to the list in my head. My list of 42 was overwhelming, even for me, the list lover, so I decided to take my mom's approach.

Here are six things (in no particular order) that I hope I will get done in my 42nd year of promise...one goal for each candle.



1. Build my blog readership to 100 or more regular, active followers.

2. Walk or run and log 100 miles.

3. Read at least 10 books.

4. Publish at least three times per week and follow my editorial calendar.

5. Add one fabulous recipe per month to my repertoire.

6. Visit and explore at least two American cities where we have never been.


It's not a bad start. It's ambitious, but doable, with my hard work and with your help.

If there's ever something you like, please share it. And if there's ever a topic you would like to see covered, please propose it.

And in the meantime, please know, my dear readers, that you are appreciated. Your comments and feedback encourage me and reading your blogs inspires me.

I'm off to celebrate. Salud y suerte! Feliz cumpleaños a mí!

Un besote!

 

The Way: A great film for feeding the wanderlust

I came across this movie last summer, as I was prepping for my trip to Galicia.

There aren't a lot of movies that feature Spain, and most that do focus on the more popular areas, like Barcelona.

This is not a criticism.

But I was headed in the opposite direction and although I had heard of the Camino de Santiago from my husband, I didn't a know a lot beyond the limited information searches that I did myself.

And then I found The Way.

 



The Way is not a religious film, but it does speak of forgiveness and compassion and understanding and tolerance.

And the landscape...Galicia is featured like another character of the movie. It speaks without words. Many people on Camino forums online claim that they were inspired to walk The Way after seeing this film.

I can understand why.

The Way features a touching story that will inspire wanderlust for this breathtaking corner of Spain that will soon become our home...part-time, it already is.

Un besote...

A Weekend Away...Montreal in May

Montreal is one of those nearby cities that can make you feel like you're a world away. With its cobble-stoned old town, the smell of crepes wafting from open doors in nearby boulangeries, and the sound of French being spoken all around you, it's easy to forget that you're only a few hours' drive away from Boston...well, six to be exact.

And, as home to a bustling nightlife and home to the legendary jazz festival, Montreal provides New Englanders with a perfect opportunity for a romantic weekend away.

We had the opportunity to spend the long weekend in Montreal and while the weather outside was frightful, especially for the end of May, the weekend away, nevertheless, was delightful.

Thanks to Priceline, we scored a four star feng shui-inspired hotel at the gate of Chinatown across the street from a metro station. A short walk to the right, up the hill and we were standing in the shadow of the grand Notre Dame cathedral. Across the street and up two blocks was the world famous, or rather infamous, Rue Sainte-Catherine, lined with restaurants, bars and other interesting retailers and services.  

We've been to Montreal many times before. And thank goodness, because it was barely 50 degrees and pouring rain...that is, until Sunday night. Nevertheless, we explored some  romantic, quaint corner coffee houses and the matrix of tunnels that lead to the "Underground City" of shopping centers, designed for residents and tourists alike to escape the Montreal's frigid winters.

Regardless of what Mother Nature has in store, here's a sampling of what you will find in Canada's Cultural Capital.

Notre Dame Basilica

 



 

St. Joseph's Oratory of Mont Royal--Canada's largest church. You will find pilgrims going up the center stairs on their knees in sacrifice. Check out the views from the top...fabulous views of Montreal from the city's highest point.

 

 

 

And then there's Olympic Park, home of the 1976 Summer Olympic Games.

 

 

 

The Biodome is fun for exploring various ecosystems...the tropical one is my personal favorite. It also includes the botanical garden, which is lovely as well.

The bug museum, I could do without...but to each, his own.

 





And if you're a foodie like me, no trip to Montreal is complete without a Nutella crepe.

 

 

If you're from the Northeast, Montreal is a very doable and very fun weekend escape. It's only six hours from Boston, but it feels like an ocean away. Crescent Street is lined with terraced restaurants, bars and clubs. The hipster Mile End neighborhood is another must-see area to explore. And if you like to gamble, check out Montreal's casino, built on rock salvaged from construction of the city's metro system.

 

Foodies, shoppers, cultural enthusiasts, gamblers, outdoorsy types...there's something for everyone north of the border. Check it out, and you, too, will be able to say, Je me souviens.

 

Au revoir...